Subtle had to go changing things up, and now I want to answer these questions too… So here are the ones she added/changed.

(I’m stuck at work, being bored while Leslie eats her dinner SO EFFING SLOWLY I WANT TO MURDER HER.  I managed to kill time and not her with this, though!)

1. Fail moment in the last week?

Ate some out-of-date food by accident, and puked my brains out until stupid o’clock in the morning.

2. Most memorable job?

Working as a live-in nanny on a 300-acre hunting and trap-shooting ranch in Tennessee with congressmen as clients, 122 animals, two kids, several psychotropic medications, no high-speed internet, no cable, while my boss was trying to be fixed up with a stable guy who had such a thick accent I literally couldn’t understand him.  Ah, Tennessee…

3. Favorite pizza topping?

Roma tomatoes, artichoke hearts, green peppers, black olives, onions, and imaginary feta cheese.

10. Most painful experience with contacts?

I got a bacterial eye infection from dirty contacts that landed me in the ER. I was rocking back an forth in a pain so bad I literally can’t describe it.  I mean… Okay, so… I once ran down the stairs, my foot landed on the metal pole of a vacuum, and my ankle snapped, and it took me THREE DAYS before I even went to the doctor.  And I was TEN YEARS OLD. 

What I’m trying to say is that I have a pretty high pain tolerance. 

And this eye pain is the worst pain I have ever felt, bar none. 

My IQ is pretty fabulous, but when I had this eye thing, the nurses at the hospital thought I was retarded and gave me stickers that said, “Girl Power!” to try to get me to talk.  Fuck that and fuck them. I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t talk, I wouldn’t think.  Nothing mattered in my whole world except the pain. 

The doctor was a douche, though.  After giving me all kinds of meds for the bacteria and putting some Vicodin down my throat, he refused to give me anything for instant, topical pain relief, saying it would slow down the healing process.  My father, being an EMT, knew what to look for and stole a bottle of something from the ER which he dumped in my eyes once I was standing, shaking, in the parking lot by his truck.

That shit was amazing.  It was also creepy, though.  I mean, you never really FEEL your eyes… But imagine if they were GONE.  That was the feeling those heavenly eye drops gave me – like I had empty holes in my face. 

So. Fucking. Odd.

11. Movie you want to see?

Winter’s Bone.  NO OTHER MOVIE MATTERS UNTIL I CAN SEE THIS! Oscars are in the future for this movie, I’m SURE of it.

12. Weirdest thing you’ve had in bed?

A fully functioning, loaded assault rifle.  Yes, I’m serious…  And thankfully, I took a picture because I wanted to show Itty, since we were talking in msn and APPARENTLY in England they think it’s weird to have loaded assault rifles hanging around your house.  (I know, I agree – THEY’RE the weird ones, obviously.  Silly British.  *shoots things*)

14. Word you edge into every conversation to make yourself sound superior?

“Anthropomorphic” or any of its permutations.  (Also, “permutation.”)

15. Name you thought would be really cool to give the fruit of your loins without really thinking it through?

D’Artagnan.  I’m 100% serious about this.

16. Thing you think you’re slightly too anal about?

Proper pronunciation.

17. Thing you wish you were slightly more anal about?

Washing my sheets.  I sleep at work 4 nights a week, so I use that as an excuse to not wash my sheets at home for two or three calendar weeks.

18. Proud moment?

Recently?  I spent 3 hours cleaning my father’s fridge.  Took the whole inside apart, tossed everything out of date, and scrubbed every surface, every nook and cranny (I even employed Q-tips to make sure EVERY bit of EVERY area was spotless.)  I was so excited about it, I earned Antonio saying, “You are an exceedingly strange pet.”

19. Dish you can cook with confidence?

Anything I’ve made before, basically… I guess specifically I make wonderful chili, the best chocolate chip cookies, amazing pancakes, and this one dish my brother calls “The Best Thing in the World.”   That’s literally what he calls it.  He’ll say, “Hey, can you make The Best Thing in the World tonight?”  I miss my bro. ;(

20. Reason why you’re doing a meme instead of a real blog?

Because I have nothing to talk about.