According to Veronica Daniels (porn name: Joslyn James) this brief excerpt I compiled from her website constitutes a series of text messages sent to her from Tiger Woods on September 29^th of 2009, between the hours of 4:02pm and 5:26pm.

(That website is virtually impossible to get on right now, btw.  Yay internet rush!)

To be fair, I don’t think this woman has the best reputation in terms of being honest and forthright, BUT STILL. 

I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you. Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat. You are my fucking whore.

Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own. Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise.

Where do you want to be bitten [undisclosed reply from JJ] Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine.

I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around. For years. And punish you for not seeing me more. I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth

We will see how bad you want me. Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy.

So, I want a show of hands. 

Who here knew this side of Tiger Woods?

From kitten:

Vegan Question. What egg replacement do you use for baking?

Since eggs are mostly for binding in the recipes I make, I’ve settled on using flaxmeal and water.  Occasionally some silken tofu or mashed banana, depending on the flavor of the food.  But since I like milled flax seeds on other things (like sprinkled in oatmeal or on salads, even) I keep it handy more often than I have perfectly rip bananas or silken tofu.

At first, I thought I’d be a super-hip vegan and I tried Ener-G egg replacer.  And my word, does that stuff suck ass. 

Everyone asks what folks would do if they had a huge sum of money. What’s your favorite way to spend 25.00?

Used books!!!  Preferably at a yard sale or book sale raising money for something – you know, places where the books are 50 cents or a dollar and I can go home with a crapload of them.

What’s your favorite genre to read?

Literary fiction of all kinds.

And cookbooks. (But only those with pictures. Cookbooks without pictures should be banned.) 

What are the benefits to a long distance M/s relationship?

Honestly, the biggest benefit is the growth in my communication skills AND my shutting-up skills.

Long distance, especially with someone who is not a gab-endlessly-on-the-phone person, means I have to write more. 

And inherently, that means communication is slowed way down… Down to the speed of thinking, composing, typing, re-thinking, and sending rather than the speed that shit can come flying out of my mouth. 

I have seen how things played out when I was forced (because of the distance) to wait a good long time before talking about something that I SWORE I absolutely NEEDED to freak out about, and how GOOD that was for me (and for him, I think).  I gained enough of the “it’ll be fine” peace of mind that lets me bite my tongue a lot more. 

Before I get to uppity, I need to remind everyone (and myself) that learning to shut up is still a bit of a work in progress.  I guess what I’m saying is IN THEORY, I know how beneficial it is, and how I don’t actually need to get my say in order to be understood…

ADDITIONALLY, it can’t be overstated how awesome it is that Antonio physically cannot urinate in my mouth from 1,000 miles away.

Tofutti or Rice Dream or Luna and Larry’s Coconut Bliss? which is your vegan ice cream of choice? Or other…

THIS! 

(Tofutti Cuties are pretty damn good too.  And my local natural market has Rice Dream bars I really want to try.  I just can’t.  Because I’m too fat.  Blah.)

What’s your favorite non-bdsm activity?

I love making greeting cards.  And candles.  And cooking for people. 

I like doing things manage to effectively combine creativity, art, and inspiration with rules, orderliness,  and precision.  I’m a woman of extremes, or so I’ve heard.

From ktby:

How do you handle the long distance obedience? Is it just a will power thing or a mental thing?

Hrmmm…  It’s not really will power. It’s not really conquering myself mentally, either.  I guess it’s just because I don’t have another option.

Looking around at the people I know in real life, and around the blogging community – I think that’s the way it is for most people, no matter what they’re facing.  You don’t know how strong, resilient, dedicated, honest or brave you are until your personal character decides for you that strength, resiliency, dedication, honesty or bravery are your only options.

Sure, not everybody has the strength of character to decide that these are their only options.  Some people face the stresses of life by lying, cheating, stealing, doing drugs, beating their children, or a whole host of other things.   But I think most people have it in them to handle just about anything that comes their way, no matter how trying or terrible.  You just don’t know you have that ability until you find yourself in a situation where having that ability is your only option.

From Lexi:

What’s your favorite app?

Crap, what a hard question.  Apps serve so many purposes, it’s hard to pick just one!  I LOVE CauseWorld…  I love the NPR app…  I also adore Sol Free because I like to play different solitaire games to wind me down before I sleep at work…  I like Flixster, too, for movies…  There are just too many. There is SO much awesome on this phone.