From Biddable:

1. Do you think Sarah Silverman is hilarious or awful?

I’m going to be honest here and say I’ve seen her in two things.  One, commercials for her show (which looked awful) and in the I’m Fucking Matt Damon music video, which I found hilarious.  I have the feeling if I ever watched her do anything other than the Matt Damon video, I’d probably want to disembowel her.  I COULD be wrong, she could be comedic genius.  But I’m guessing not.

2. What’s your favourite song?

Ah, crap.  This is SO hard.  Actually, it’s literally impossible for me.   I cannot pick just one song.  Can’t do it.  Can we pick some genres or songs for certain moods?  Ah, who am I kidding, I wouldn’t even be able to do it then.

3. Do you hate doing laundry?

Nope.  I actually really, really like doing laundry.  It takes, what?  Three minutes to get it started?  The only part of “doing laundry” that requires time and work is the folding.  And I LIKE sitting on a bed, with warm, clean clothes and linens spread around me, smelling wonderful and feeling so soft, and folding everything into neat, perfect piles while I listen to music or watch TV.  It’s awesome.

4. Will you hook me up with some new vegan recipes? Kitchen’s getting a little stale over here.

Oooo, totally.  I’m going to start up another VFFF(F?) (with the last couple of Fs possibly meaning “Foreseeable-Future” instead of “Fortnight”) and I’ll make sure to have recipes for anything that catches your eye, kay?  (Do you like how I’m attempting to coerce you into reading my soon-to-come VFFF instead of just giving you recipes?  I’m rather clever.)

5. Would you rather give up music or television?

Television. 

Music is like food, television is like a drug.  When I worked in Tennessee, as a nanny, the cable company didn’t run cable out that far into the boonies, so we had to get satellite.  It took months, and I never, ever, EVER figured out how to work it anyway.  So I went a LONG time without watching any TV at all.  I was fine, after the initial shock of it.

Music, though?  I might go through phases, listen to some stuff and not other… But overall, it nourishes me in a way TV doesn’t.

6. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

This has something to do with fish, doesn’t it?

From subtle, who is rocking on a whole different level than most people in terms of these questions.  She’s just divine.

1. Do you actually like facial hair on the A-man? (I personally think facial hair looks uberly hot, but I can’t stand the feel!)

I like the look a lot.  I often want to take little scissors and trim teeny bits of hair that are not in place because I’m a wee bit anal like that. 

The feel? I’m fine with it. I like it, actually.  It might be awful if he actually liked kissing and spent any sort of time engaging in in.  He doesn’t, though. Well, he might just not like kissing ME.  I don’t know.  But, in any case, his facial hair is not touching me for long periods of time on a daily basis anyway.  At least not in a manner where the feeling of the facial hair is the dominant sensation.  You know, like, if he decides to bite me, my mental reaction isn’t, “Holy piss, that facial hair itches!” it’s more like, “Do not hit him. DO NOT HIT HIM.”

2. Describe your *ideal* life with the A-man. Master/slave stuff? He works, you don’t? You live in a cell in the basement, he sips cocktails by the pool?

He has a career that isn’t as dangerous as his current job and is lucrative enough that I can just work part-time (if I FEEL like it) from home.  (Homemaker duties take a lot of TIME to do right, yo!)

I’m not into the isolation thing. Small bursts, and I’m talking SMALL?  Sure.  But if I wanted to spend all day with just myself, I’d spend all day with just myself.  I want to spend all day with him. 

So maybe I’d rather he didn’t work.

But I don’t wanna work full time…

I think we just need to win the lottery if I’m going to have an ‘ideal’ situation here. I could probably write a whole series of posts on what I’d do if we won the lottery. 

3. Have you ever had an apple, pear & cinnamon cake with maple cream cheese frosting? ’cause I just made one and it’s divine….

I haven’t.  But I kind of want to try to veganize it now.  I saw your post.  I LOVE cooking posts with pictures.  I really ought to try to do that once a week or something, to show how a part of my VFFF came together.  I think once I move, I’m gonna do both those things – get VFFF back up, and do weekly recipe/photo posts about cooking something.  WOO!

4. Do I really need an iPhone? Is an iMac and an iPod enough of an ‘i’ presence in my life?

That depends.  Is it an iPod touch?  If it’s a touch, I don’t think you need an iPhone – it’ll do LOTS of the same stuff since you can get the apps.  But my iPhone is crucial.  It does everything from store all my convenience cards (for pharmacies and grocery stores and the library – just enter the number and it generates the barcode)… to tell me the name of a song I don’t know (Shazam rocks!)… to let me do vocal google searches… to let me play games when I’m bored… to let me answer my email… to triangulate my position and give me directions… to let me find a recipe for dinner (check out the AllRecipes Dinner Spinner, SO FUN!)… to function as a wireless harddrive so I can Air-share files from my computer…to let me play a check-in game that is free to me that allows users to allocate sponsor-donated money to charities like the Red Cross, planting trees, books for schools, the SPCA, to prevent child abuse…

I could go on for ages. I am in love with my iPhone.  I’m practically having an affair.