It’s March. Ask me questions. I need the distraction.
Last Wednesday, we had to put my dog down. I don’t really want to talk about it because… I just don’t. Seventeen years is a long time to feel loved and be in love with a pet. A very, very long time. I can’t talk about it right, and I can’t talk about it right now.
Oh, and my birthday was yesterday. That was an unadulterated failure. I’m in a lot of pain right now, from losing my doggie, and for that I can barely get more than an, “Uh… That sucks… Moving on now!” out of most people. My father insists on asking for details about that morning because he wasn’t here. It takes every ounce of patience I have not to literally scream at him. Jesus, get your fucking fingers out of my open wound, you fucking asshole.
Anyway, I’m miserable. I do a good job covering it up – I’ve had a lot of practice. But the littlest thing can reduce me to choking sobs and stinging hot tears.
And virtually everyone I know takes that opportunity to… wait for it… TOTALLY ignore my birthday.
Sweet!
The ONLY person who sent me a card? The guy I bought my car from years ago.
No lie. I’m apparently worth a card only to people who can use me to make money. Interesting!
Both Antonio and my mother managed to say Happy Birthday to me. (Oh, the guy I bought my car from also called and chatted and wished me a happy birthday. He’s good like that.) My mother took two tries. She called once and forgot, then called back five hours later to say she was the worst mother ever.
I forgive her because it took her 49 hours of labor to give birth to me. I was an emergency C-section to save her life. I very nearly killed her, so she gets a pass on this, and basically all future birthday blunders.
My father and brother though? They get NO pass. I talked to the bro in the morning… Nothing… I sat around with Dad and Harrison last night, watching a movie… Nada.
It just… It makes me feel like SHIT. I’d like them to say the words. More than that, I’d like some ACTION to signify that hey, they were thinking about me. Actions speak a whole lot louder than words…
I guess it’s selfish to want that… I guess I’m selfish. *shrug*
Antonio was attempting to cheer me up with a “it’s not a lack of caring, it’s a lack of finances” chat at one point. And I get that finances prevent people from buying huge gifts (and I don’t want them anyway). THAT’S FUCKING FINE. But I refuse to buy the bullshit excuse of “no money” when it comes to an ACTION to show you care. It doesn’t fly, period. Sorry, if you have the money to buy cigarettes, or go out drinking with your friends, or take jiu jitsu classes, or buy your girlfriend a trillion dollars worth of stuff for Christmas… Well, guess what, you financial genius? You can afford a motherfucking greeting card. I KNOW you can. What you can’t seem to afford? Thinking about me for two seconds with enough advance notice to buy/mail a card.
And that hurts. No two ways around it.
Jesus Christ, could it be any clearer that I could use some attention and kindness right now? Fuck, I’m so whiny and sulky. I’m annoying even myself right now. It’s exhausting.
SO. You know what? You guys need to step up to the plate. Ask me questions for March to give me the distraction I need. You can comment, or you can email me at chloe (at) thenaturalorders (dot) com. Okay? Okay.
My emotional well-being is in your hands. Don’t drop the ball, kiddos… My brother has just gotten home with my girl’s ashes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOUUUUUUU,
HAPPY B I R T H D A Y DEAR CHLOE,
H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y TOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOUUUUUUUUU.
(or the more tradional version in my home growing up)
Happy birthday to You
Happy Birthday to YOU
You look like a mon–keyyyyy
and you smell like one two.oooooooooooo……
PEEE – - -EEEWWWWWWW!!!
Hope this cheers you up.
Wait i have a prrresant for you….
Look down.
no. look downer.
c’mon Chloe…try harder here, willya?
bend your head a bit more.
are you looking up under your skirt?
see it?
(it’s a clitoris…and you get to play with it. just tell A. that nilla said it was okay…giggles…after all, your birthday completely sucked, and a girls gotta cheer herself up, yanno?)
If i was there, i’d totally help you out.
Bake a cake.
draw you a bath with lots of pink bubble bath stuff.
a glass of sparkling cider
candles.
soft music.
nacho’s.
But i’m not, so you’ll have to make do with your clit.
HUG…..
nilla
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
*snort*
This sounds like a fabulous plan. I will tell The Man that you said it was okay. I’m sure he’ll be fine with that. I just need some alone time… Hrm… Hard to come by here.
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LMAO @ nilla’s comment! I can’t think….
So, happy belated b-day Chloe; mine’s next week. I suppose you don’t go around reminding everybody your birthday’s coming up like I do though. That sorta helps people remember. Of course, I am terrible at remembering birthdays, other than my kids I guess. Sorry about your dog… I know what that’s like. I lost two dogs and a cat in one year a little while back and it was godawful. I vowed not to get any more pets because it was too hard losing them.
I don’t have any questions just now. But I’ll try and think of something.
Hugs and smooches,
dk
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:30 pm
I really do need to remind people…. It’s just that February is so short, March sneaks up on people.
And yeah… I just can’t see myself getting another pet any time soon. It’s just devastating. I don’t want to do this again. (And I know I will, with my kitty Moco. She’s 10 now.)
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Alright, Dear Girl — Here’s the trick: do this like my friend, Lanette. She does not have birthdays. No! She has a birth MONTH. Her birthday falls in the middle of September, and so September is Lanette’s birth month. She tells everyone, and people send cards and flowers and little gifts throughout the month. She goes out to lunch with friends and family, and they tell every restaurant that it is her birthday, and so lots of singing and general silliness ensues. I am thinking that you need a whole month to celebrate the anniversary of your birth — so go for it; declare a birth month!!!
All the best,
swan
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Declare a birth month… I never thought of that. Huh. I should try it.
Thank you!
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*hugs* and happy birfdays.
Yeah, seriously you need to drop the hint at least two weeks before and keep up the hints until B-day.
A question:
What would you have for your last meal?
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Sweet. A question! I’ll totally get to this once I get a couple more!
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oi, i totally remembered, you cheeky git, AND gave you a pressie. pffft.
(that’s code for ‘honey, i’m worried about you, i wish you’d come talk to me. i’m almost worried enough to randomly call you.’)
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I luff you. <3
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harpy bidet to yooooooooooooooooooo
i like nilla’s pressie, that was priceless!
i haz a question.
Has ANYTHING ever rendered you speechless? If so, what was it? If not, lol.
tee hee.
weirdgirl
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
I’m going to think on this. And you are to TOTALLY disregard Itty’s comment. It’s all lies. I’m very quiet and reserved and I barely ever talk and… Oh, shush. I was leaving anyway…
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Happy Birthday! I send you love and a hug!
Be good and be bad when needed!
You are special and funny and all around goofy girl!
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Awww, thank you!
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chloe is NEVAR speechless. EVAR.
what she might class as her being speechless, the rest of us would probably consider excessively verbose.
seriously.
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Chloe Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
*purses lips*
Git.
I have TOO been speechless. I must have, right? Maybe I was… I dunno… Drugged? Asleep? Yes. Asleep. That’s it.
(It’s SO strange to see you call me Chloe, btw. Oh, and, I’m using this as a message central for you, since I’m here now anyway. I’mma go watch a movie with the bro. Then I’mma poke you on msn. If you’re up, you have to try to render me speechless so I’ll be able to say ‘yes’ to that question honestly. kthnxbai.)
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More questions:
1. Is there was one thing you could do or one skill you could have what would it be?
2. Tell us of the losing of the virginity!!! (yes, I need details…)
3. What would your pornstar name be?
Seriously, I will keep going if you don’t stop me
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Happy Birthday!
Question: Would you ever consider finishing your VFFF, or better yet, starting a new one?
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Where do you see yourself a year from now? five? ten? include your job/career, Antonio, where you’re living, hopes, dreams, whatevers.
What do you like to wear? Are you a tomboy or a girly-girl in terms of wardrobe; or somewhere in-between?
What do you rank as the most important quality or qualities in a guy in a relationship? Least important?
From what activity or hobby do you gain the most? What fills you up emotionally the most? What gives back the most? (If this is not clear, please forgive me! Let me know and I will try rewording it)
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Happy Belated Birthday beautiful girl! Okies question to amuse you … if you could have as many ‘pink’ things as you like in the world, what would your world look like?
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