Thank you to everyone who commented on my last entry. You guys really rock (despite making me cry!)
So, a couple things.
I’ve been working like crazy. Regular work, and then working for my mother. At least I’m making enough money to pay my bills (though $816.39 went out the door today. Car payments – I was behind and then I paid an extra month a little in advance.)
I’ve got recertifications coming up, and a baby shower for a co-worker this weekend. She’s due in March. I know she’s registered at Toys R Us, so I was thinking I’d go there this week and get something off her registry…
But I have a question for you guys… Should I just buy stuff on the registry? Now, the reason I ask is that… Well… I don’t know how to put this lightly, so I’ll just say it. This girl is NOT ready to be a mother. Just, wow, no.
A year and a half ago, she got pregnant accidentally. She debated for a while, and got an abortion. She came into work the next day, to relieve me. She put her elbows on the counter and sighed. I asked her if she was okay, and she said, “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life-”
I hesitated for a moment. I mean, what do you say to that? As I opened my mouth, hoping comforting words would be forthcoming, she finished her sentence.
“-I couldn’t drink or smoke for HOURS beforehand!”
Oh. Dear. Fuck.
I think I managed a noncommittal grunt at that point. (I’m still proud of being able to vocalize anything.)
ANYWAY. So she got pregnant again. This time, she is keeping the baby. (She doesn’t know who the father is, though. I guess unprotected sex with multiple partners is a secret hobby of hers? I know, I know. I shouldn’t judge. I’m trying not to . But she had one “accident” and, I dunno, wouldn’t you learn? I guess all the talk shows on daytime TV are evidence that no, many people don’t learn. But, still.)
She has managed to save a whopping two weeks off (my company is great with personal time – I get between five and six weeks of personal time every year, AND it can roll over, AND it’s better the longer you work there. She has been with the company for eight years. I’ve only been with them for two years.) And she only has about $800 in the bank.
She’s a sweet enough girl, but she has NO CLUE about… Well, anything, really. Anything at all.
SO. I’m looking for some baby-presents advice. I’m wondering what the best/useful presents would be, especially considering the mother has very little cash and very little foresight. Or should I just ignore the desire to get her useful things, and just buy the toys and junk she has on the registry?
Any ideas?
Also, in other news…
I mentioned I’m going on vacation in Mexico at the end of next month. Well, my mother is going to Mexico for slightly over five weeks (returning the same day I do). For the four-plus weeks before I go down to join her, I will be housesitting for her.
I love her house, and I’m excited to hang there for a month. Recharge, drink tea, watch the river… Mmmm, yay!
One obvious thing would be missing, though. (Well, one person.)
Anyway, I told The Man about the housesitting, along with the fact that, well… I wish he could be here! I SO do. It’s beautiful and peaceful and I wish wish wish he could be here while I’ve got an adorable house to watch over all by myself! It would be utterly AMAZING if I could magically transport him over here at some point to just spend a little time together.
Oh, but hey… Guess what?
I might not need magic after all. 
After I told him I wish he could be here? He agreed, said he needed to visit his family (about five hours away from me) soon anyway, so why not just extend the trip and come stay with me for a bit?
OMFG, YAY!!!
I’m praying we can work out the logistics of this (timing, transportation, time off work) but so far, all signs are pointing toward it happening.
I’m gleeful, to say the least!
DIAPERS. Srsly. Best present you can get someone who is having a baby, or has a diaper-aged child. And since I have three kids, I clearly know what I’m talking about. Right? Right
I hope you and the Man have a magical month getting it on at your mom’s house.
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Chloe Reply:
January 12th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Oh man, I only WISH it could be a month. I’m just hoping to be able to get him to visit for a bit after he goes to see his family. I hope we can both get the time off work!
And… I don’t know a thing about diapers. I’ve used ‘em many, many times as a nanny and babysitter, but I’ve only used what was THERE… Do the sizes differ enough to matter if she has a big baby? Or will some “newborn” type size be fine no matter what?
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I agree, diapers. If you are at all crafty, make a diaper cake (Look it up on line). Super easy to make, not too expensive, and a huge hit at showers. Top layer, newborn size, middle layer, next size up, etc. (Three tiers is plenty). Wrap with a ribbon, fold bootys to look like roses, add a few do-da’s, and wha la. Little hint, don’t add too much extras, and, as a bonus, make the “plate” it sits on a photo album. (another hint, use clear rubberbands, very forgiving).
As to size, usually newborn size fits all. Unless its a premie, then the child will grow into them. If its an extreamly large baby might be a problem, but even then they usually will work. (some have the cut out for where the cord is). Go with unscented, in case of allergies.
If not diapers, I’d still go with useful, not “cute” stuff. Not such a Ohhh and ahhh at the shower, but her mother will know you did the right thing. An idea would be a diaper bag, car seat, baby moniter.
Just my thoughts.
~twisted
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Diapers. Size 1. Newborn didn’t fit long here at all. And baby wipes.
Imma email you tomorrow (I hope!).
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Diapers sounds like an excellent suggestion (I love the idea of a ‘cake’….lol)
I am going to keep everything possible crossed that you and The Man get to spend some time together. I’ve felt what its like to be separated for too long recently, and its nowhere near what others have to go through.
love and hugs xxx
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Definitely get her the useful items! Toys are nice, maybe one small thing yanno…but if she is as unmotherly as you say…useful items! but then it looks like you already have a ton of useful ideas
good luck to the baby!
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I’m with Kaya. Out of my three, only one was small enough for the newborn size to be useful at all.
Diapers, wipes, socks (srsly, I lose baby socks all the damn time), baby wash, formula if she’s not going to be nursing (it’s my understanding most American women don’t), batteries because every damn baby toy known to man needs them, babyproofing things like cupboard latches, gripe water, baby acetaminophen, baby nail clippers, nasal aspirators, digital baby thermometer, an offer to babysit…
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Yup. What they all said. And, if you have any say in the shower planning, I know some people do a door prize style giveaway at the shower where the price of admission is one package of disposable diapers. Everyone who brings a package of diapers (any size) gets entered in the prize drawing…
Enjoy the time with The Man…
all the best,
swan
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Diapers, definitely.
I also think that the ‘little things’ are important and handy. Soaps, lotions, oil, powder, baby bottle nipples. Maybe even a book or two on baby care.
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Get her what you think she needs not whats on the list, if she doesn’t know what shes in for then the practical stuff is what she needs. A good book with all the basics in it would be helpful I am guessing. Arrghh.
Most awesome news re the Man I hope you two can have some quality time together ‘beams’ xxxx
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Hurray for time with A! I usually get stuff they need, like the others said.
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As the new grandmother of a much loved and well cared for baby, my heart is breaking for this child. I agree – get practical items. And have fun with the house sitting, etc.! Meow
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