I wrote this in my very first blog post:

The only thing I can concentrate on at the moment is that my blog has been titled by my Master as “She Obeys” and I’m kinda thinking there should be some qualifier there like “…Most of the time.”  (Read: If you came here looking for a chronicling of my utter perfection in slavery, you have come to the wrooooong place.)

This holds true. It was true on day one and it’s true now. This is not a chronicling of my utter perfection in ANYTHING. The only thing I do perfectly is braid hair. That, I ROCK at. Everything else? Not so perfect.

And I still think the title needs a qualifier.

Three months later:

I don’t kid myself and pretend I write for myself. I don’t. I write this for an audience, and for the chance to be heard and to gain insight from those willing to engage and maybe to make someone else think, even a little bit. Not a guarantee of these things, of course, but a chance.

This was spurred from a post from M:e. People talk about how they write only for themselves, or for their Masters. And… The question was basically, “Okay. But why make it public then?”

That was my answer then, and it’s still why I’m here.

And this, about six months in:

Antonio is the most important thing in my life – past, present, and future.  He matters more than everyone, everything, and everywhere else – combined.

This is true. It’s what makes me soar, and it’s what makes me ache. I love him so much, and I miss him deeply right now. He is my happiness.

Around nine months in:

I can be safe with a man who hits me.

I can love a man who humiliates me.

I can trust a man who is dishonest with me.

 Ah… Remember the Truths, Trust, and Honesty discussions? I do. I liked them. It meant a lot to me to be able to come to these conclusions verbally. They are always in my head, they may occasionally need some tweaking or bolstering up, but just writing them down is invaluable to me.

 

And just the other day:


I choose happiness.

I was talking about Christmastime in that last one. But I think it’s something to apply to my daily life, hey?

As I’ve made clear, I’m playing the part of Patient Girl at the moment. Waiting for pieces of his time as he lives out of a crappy hotel for work. If all goes well, he’ll be home in about a week. I cannot wait!  BUT… I have to wait.  So, in the meantime, while I wait for him to be able to talk through a whole lot of junk with me, I am trying to choose happiness.

 

So.  Anyway.  The point of all this…

I’ve been blogging for a YEAR now.

I have no idea how it happened.

(I suspect sorcery.)

Thank you, to everyone who has spent any of their time on me and my words, either here or off-blog.  From the moment we’re born, time is the ONLY  thing we’re guaranteed.  Not money, not health, not a family, nothing.  Nothing except time.  And we have NO idea how much of it. 

So it means the world to me that any of you would spend any of yours on me.