(Vegan) Food For a Fortnight begins on Sunday!

(Gleefully stolen from subtle, who is positively epic in her rockitude.)

I was cruising around on subtle’s blog, and noticed her Food For a Fortnight post.  You can read it right here.  She’s a genius, and I ADORE this idea.  A condensed version of her post follows, in case you refuse to go read the whole thing. (I’ll have you know if that’s the case, I hate you.)

In an effort to make myself accountable for what I eat,  I’ve decided to keep a photo log of everything I eat for the next fortnight. I’m naming it ‘Food for a Fortnight’ or FFF for short.

When I look at foodporn I often find that I’m the most interested in what ‘normal people’ eat ‘normally’. Of course the scrummy-looking desserts and the drop-dead cute cakes that people make are fantastic, but what I really want to know is what does that person go home and eat after a day at work. Call me bizarre for being interested, but I really want to know if they do make peanut butter and jam sandwiches (and for the record, I’ve never tried one) or if they fry up brains or eat a bowl of icecream for breakfast. I’m really fascinated by stuff like that.

If anyone else wants to join me, please feel free! Leave me a comment and I’ll come and marvel at your food log and I promise I won’t poke fun at what you eat – unless of course it involves blue cheese or slimy things, which are just wrong.

(Incidentally, that reminds me.  When I worked in Tennessee, I found a tub of “Pork Brains” in the freezer one time.  If anyone has ever eaten pork brains, I BEG you to comment.  Why, why, WHY did you do that?  Was nothing else available?  Were you pretending they were monkey brains and you were in an Indian Jones movie?  Explain.  I must know.)

ANYWAY… I have come back from my trip to see The Man in a frenzy that feels almost drug-induced.  (Aside from Kay’s death and the pending investigation, of course) I’m happy, and I’m SO DRIVEN.

My first priority right now?  Losing weight.

I am way too fat.  WAY too fat.  My weight has gone up and down and up and down from too skinny to disgustingly overweight for YEARS.  I seem incapable of losing or gaining weight in a healthy way.  Eating disorders will do that to you, I guess.

Since I stopped purging or starving myself, I’ve gained a LOT of weight.  Like, a lot.  My tortured metabolism, eating disordered brain, and food-related OCD (that’s actually diagnosed OCD, I’m not just saying OCD like people do, as a catchphrase) have made it SO hard to lose weight normally.

And in the past months, instead of losing it, I’ve just stagnated, and even gained weight.  My fight to keep my head above water in my emotional whirlpool regarding my increasing distaste for a long-distance relationship, my worry that Antonio wouldn’t want me to move in with him, his emotional distance right now… Well, it all weighed on me SO heavily that I literally just couldn’t care about losing weight and becoming healthier and more attractive. He wanted me to, but I didn’t.  I failed.

All this is not an excuse.  There is no excuse. It’s merely an explanation.

It was just plain stupid and selfish of me to fail like this.  I have disappointed myself, and my Man.  I’m disgusted with that, with what I look like, and with my former apathy about it.  It was pathetic of me to sit and worry about everything to the point where I idled physically.  I wish I’d told you guys about my struggles with it so someone would have kicked me in the ass and told me to suck it the fuck up, buttercup.  I know at least one of you who would have done that for me for sure.

Anyhow, I got home from this trip determined to turn this issue (and others) around.  Once and for all. I began thinking of mega-healthy food and exercise plans, maybe a new online food log, etc.

Then I read subtle’s blog!

Her FFF idea could not have come at a more opportune time.  So I am stealing it.  I’ll start it on Sunday since I have to locate my camera, charge it, go grocery shopping, figure out how to put a new tab on my blog without *gulp* Antonio’s help since he’s off visiting his son.

Along with pictures of every bite of food I put in my mouth, I will try to include nutritional breakdowns (and I’ll provide recipes for anything anyone wants to try!)

While everything I eat will be “normal” food for me, I will admittedly vary my meals more than I would. Not to say I wouldn’t eat these foods – I do, I have, and frequently – but that instead of cooking one large batch of something and eating off it for three days, I’ll cook in large batches, eat it once or twice and freeze leftovers.  That way, I will do myself a favor and get a more varied diet (less chance of bingeing if I’ve got new and fun stuff to look forward too every day!) and be able to have leftovers for a good long time! YAY!

(My spellcheck doesn’t recognize the word “bingeing.”    It suggests “binging” which is not, in fact, a word.  Seriously, wtf.)

ALSO, it will let anyone who is curious about what in the fuck a vegan could possibly eat aside from lettuce.  You’ll see we actually eat good, healthy food that looks and tastes delicious.

I’ll warn you that I tend to alter and mess with recipes to the point where I can’t remember exactly what I did.  Antonio says I have a disease when it comes to this.  I agree – it’s called food-related OCD!  Heh.  But, I’ll TRY to figure out precisely how I do everything so people can try anything they want.  You’ll see my new obsession (“stacks”) and you’ll see what a vegan eats for convenience food because, let’s face it, there are days you just have to microwave dinner.

I’m going to do it like subtle did, and post entries in a new tab.  That way I won’t clog up the blog with stuff no one cares about, and I’ll just post links in regular blog entries when a new day of food pictures is up so you guys can see.

This will also force me to blog EVERY day at some point, yet it can’t be related to the food since that will be separate.  Hrm…  My apologies in advance for all the drivel you will be subjected to!

P.S. – Interesting side note about my drivel. I got an email from a darling girl called Cin tonight.  Apparently, her Master has given her the assignment of reading my blog.  Now,  there are sadists and then there are SADISTS.   Poor Cin!  Making someone read my tripe-filled blog is just MEAN.  Kidding, kidding – I’m fantastic! *grins* Anyway, this was just  a way to give a quick shout-out to the awesome Cin, who I will be cursing with a long and rambling email shortly.  Those of you who know what my emails are like probably should have warned her.