And this is the result.  Sorry!

I saw this meme thingy floating around last week, and I’m bored on a 20-hour shift so I thought I’d fill it out.

1) What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

Being a lousy tipper.  (That REALLY pisses me off.)  Speaking like an uneducated douche. (Intelligence FTW!)  Appearing uncomfortable that I’m 5’11”, especially if he’s shorter than I am. (I’m the only one allowed to have irrational complexes in a relationship, dammit!)

2) Pick an animal that best displays your personality.

I  thought this would be hard, but it’s actually an easy question.  I’m definitely a domestic rat!

Clean, anxious, clever, sweet, and able to be trained.  Does best in a pair.  Won’t bite unless cornered or threatened.   Not that attractive, loves to clean, and definitely has an oral fixation.  Makes odd noises, is obsessed with bed and bedding, and is incredibly curious.

3) If your S.O. stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?

I suppose that depends why.  Because he hated my guts?  Well, I figure he’d kick me out if that were the case, so I’d stay until he called the cops to remove me from the yard.  If he couldn’t or didn’t want to have sex?  I’d stay as long as he still wanted me there.  *shrug* I love him, and sex isn’t everything in this relationship.  I imagine there will come a time, when we’re old as hell where sex isn’t an option anyway. 

4) Are you more passive or aggressive when the relationship becomes physical? 

Passive, though I need to work on that.  There are no appropriate pictures for this one.  So just enjoy this kitten, who is being sleepy.  Let’s pretend it’s being passive, okay?  But don’t relate that to sex.  Having sex with kittens is WRONG.  (Five bucks says the search terms are going to be gag-inducing this week. )

5) Have you ever been INSIDE a store that sold adult themed toys and videos?

Lots. A friend once interrogated a store employee about  why they didn’t have samples of the edible undies. Hands on her hips, she said, “Well, how the hell are we supposed to know if cherry or passion fruit tastes better?  You know what edible underwear is FOR, right?”  She’s a class act.

(Also… I realize I’m vegan, but I’m allowed to find that picture of beef jerky underwear hilarious, right?  Right.)

I’ll be back tomorrow (or, yanno, soon) to answer a question I got the other day!