Listen up, guys. I don’t read my stats, because they’re probably abysmal anyway. Okay, fine, I don’t read them because I’m an idiot and I would probably place some portion of my self-worth in those numbers.
The only stats I look at are the search terms some of you crazy folks use to get here. (My favorite this week is “transparent tube top porn.” Fucking awesome.)
I firmly believe I have one, maybe two people who lurk. This is because I do NOT understand what strange things must go through someone’s brain that would result in “and you know, I DON’T think I need to yammer at this blogger today, or any other day!” I need to yammer ALL the time. At everyone. No matter what. If anyone lurks and reads this blog, you are a stronger (saner?) person than I.
Anyway, since I don’t read my stats, the ONLY way I know if people read this blog is if they comment. That’s it. That’s how I know. Take a minute and let that sink in.
Have you begun to feel sorry for me? Begun to reconsider your silent role? No? That’s okay, I’m not out of ideas yet!
The days when someone posts and says, “I read your blog but I haven’t commented until now…” are SUCH cool days. I get a flutter in my stomach, I grin from ear to ear, and sometimes I even clap. Like a little over-excited toddler. Seriously. Antonio has seen me do this. I know he’s seen because, for some odd reason, his eyes were VERY wide while watching. Go figure.
So, on the off-chance that there are MORE lurkers… You know what? Go ahead and continue lurking. I’m not going to tell you to come out of the shadows if you don’t want to. You can feel free to ignore my stomach, desperate to flutter! Ignore my sad face, yearning to smile! Ignore my idle hands, wishing to clap! Ignore ME!
*sulk*
Have I successfully guilted any of you into commenting? Please say yes… Anyway, to increase my chances that this will not remain a comment-less entry, I have TRIED to allow for anonymous comments. Enjoy if I’ve managed, and feel free to email me (chloe (at) thenaturalorders (dot) com) if it isn’t working. Because I’m sure that right after “Well, okay, FINE, I guess I can du-lurk even though it causes me STRESS” comes “And now I’ll just move straight to emailing the blogger.” Yeah, that makes sense.
-shifty eyes-
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Chloe, One of the funniest “Love Our Lurkers” posts I’ve read today! Meow
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I’m really only a quasi-lurker ’cause I commented once a long time ago.
<3
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See, I DO read you, you hypothetical BFF.
AND I left you a link to my (un-updated) blod so that you can go forth and vomit over it.
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See, I DO read you, you hypothetical BFF.
AND I left you a link to my (un-updated) blog so that you can go forth and vomit over it.
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Aww… sorry not to comment more often.. who woulda thunk it would really matter!?
Cheers~~
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*peeks out and waves*
lo.
i stalked you back here from kaya’s place after you started commenting over there and i recognised the strain of nuttiness that is so much fun to read. hehehehe.
i rarely comment anywhere – i have lazyfingeritis *nods* but i do talk to the screen when i read blogs – do you mean to tell me you can’t hear that??? how disappointing *sad face*
weirdgirl – who hopes you don’t look like a constipated dawson anymore.
*steps back into shadows*
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Hi, I’ve been lurking for a little while, enjoying what you write. Happy to say hello and cause a bit of fluttering.
I found your blog after looking around the interwebs, shortly after writing this post. It’s been fun following your posts, you’re a good writer.
Hi Sarah (a commenter above). Fancy seeing you here…
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@ Housewench – You ARE shifty. I’m watching you…
@ Meow – *bows* Thank you!
@ Sarah – I’m counting you anyway, because I feel more loved if I have more lurkers. And we all need more love. So, it works out.
@ Darkish – DUDE. My hypothetical BFF can’t be a lurker. Pffft. That makes NO sense. (And, as a reader here, you must know that I ALWAYS make sense.) I think you need to blog more. Take it from me, there is always SOMETHING to talk about. Besides, I can stalk you better that way. Er, get to know you better. Whichever sounds better to you. *winning smile*
@ nancy – Hi! I LOVE comments. And, as evidenced by this post, I become a whiny miss-nancy-pants boy when I don’t get them. So comment away, whenever the urge strikes you. And in all honesty, it doesn’t even have to relate to the post. You can talk about a concert you went to, or what color you painted your toes last night. My comments in other blogs run much along those lines and no one has banned me from commenting yet!
@ weirdgirl – You know, I CAN’T hear screen-talking. But maybe if I go off my meds? I should try that sometime. You’re welcome out of the shadows any time, and stalking is a way of life here.
@ Alan – Hey there! Thank you, btw. Do you know Sarah? Are you two in cahoots? Do all my lurkers party together behind my back? That would be really, really lame. Someone should invite me and un-lame things. *nods seriously*
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Holy shit, Alan! I KNOW YOU. Also, I heart you, Chloe. Thanks for this blog, it roxors. <3
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Hi!
I have to admit..I have been a lurker for quite some time.
My Mistress and I were just recently inspired to start our own blog about our lifestyle.
You’ve been one of our favorites.
I have a feeling that kaya is one of the first bdsm blogs most people who are interested in this sort of thing read!
Anyway, keep it up. We love your blog.
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@ Sarah – You’re welcome.
@ david – Hey there! Thank you for such kind words. I just popped over to you blog and it rocks. I typed out a whole comment but realized I can’t post it because there is no name/URL option for the comment profile. *sulk* I’ll be reading, though. Promise.
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Do I lurk? I dunno. But I love. =)
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Sarah and I were in the same online multiplayer game.
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Hah ima gonna sit here with my bag of chippies and leave crumbs all over the place just cause yano I likes lurking and revenge is sweet … *grins*
‘Impy’ who is faaaar too influenced by Chloe’s naughtiness xxx
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Hey there, you poor baby being subjected to all this lurking and so forth. I found you through Kaya I think, and I *like* to think that I’ve commented before but it is entirely possible that I never have. I to indulge in the screen talking, and the talking to my boy and the awesomely strange people on the interwebs I read haha.
So hi! *waves* I’m here! I read alll the time
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Hi Chloe,
This is my first visit to your blog so I’m not technically a lurker, but happy LOL day.
Hugs,
Hermione
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Hi Chloe!!
although not a lurker, i’m still stopping in to say hello (because procrastinating on completing the homework by reading your blog is so much better!)
thank you for such lovely words for the great reads post!!
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Hi Chloe,
You collected a fine group of lurkers! Well done.
Thanks for joining in the LOL Day festivities.
Hugs,
Bonnie
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i’m here and reading, even though we’ve totally never spoken or even met. liek, srsly.
luff
x
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@ jenfrog – Tsk. You SO don’t count as a lurker.
@ Alan – I prefer to think you guys are in cahoots, if only because “cahoots” is such a hilarious word.
@ Impy – Just THINK where the world would be without naughtiness? In shambles, that’s where! So, by that logic, we are saving the world by fostering naughty behavior in each other. *nods*
@ Ellen – Hi! YAY, I love people who talk to their screens. I do it too, you see, and it makes me feel less insane to know I’m not alone.
@ Hermione – Well, you lurked for a second or two before hitting “submit comment” so I reckon you count.
@ lexa – Hi missy. *grins* You’re very welcome. Thank YOU, for your blog. You rock.
@ Bonnie – Hi! Thanks! I hear you’re the starter of LOL day. (Or is that just internet legend?) So thank you for stopping by.
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@ ITTY – OMG WHO ARE YOU!?! (I love you.)
I started writing a blog all about you, you know. And now I don’t know where it is. All I have is a saved conversation where we talked about the exhibitionist bug so many BDSM bloggers seem to have caught, and at the end you said “brb, gotta piss (blog THAT baybee)”
Which was brilliant, obviously and SHOULD get blogged.
ALSO, I’m sitting on msn hoping you will turn up an have been since you sent this comment but I DON’T SEE YOU. *purses lips* WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOU?!?! I’mma go get my phone and poke you.
<3
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I emailed you once for recipes, does that count?
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Ok, so I lurk. Is that so wrong? *grins*
I’m introverted as well as submissive, so I often have nothing to say. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy what I’m reading, okay?
Because I do enjoy it. Thank you.
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@ Kris – Totally doesn’t count, you are SO a lurker.
@ numaari – Heh. Nothing is WRONG with lurking, I promise. I just like hearing from people who read. It makes me happy.
So thanks for piping up. Now, at least, I know you’re in my audience!
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just found your blog. Tres interessant.
I’m male, got out of an abusive relationship where I was the one abused. I know part of me wanted it, and if she had ever stepped up and been dominant, we might have been happy, but she never did, she just abused me, but never demanded of me, and it was horrible.
So we divorced eventually when I finally had reached a limit and crawled away. Now I’m learning to love myself and not need to be submissive. It’s weird reading your thoughts. They were my thoughts once… but don’t seem to echo anymore.
I don’t know why I needed to share this. It just kinda came out since it’s what your blog makes me think about.
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Chloe Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 10:33 am
Thank you, for deciding to share.
I’m so incredibly happy you’re on a path to finding your own peace – everyone deserves that, no matter what sort of relationship package it comes in. Well done, you.
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