I’ve saved everything and Harrison is about to wipe this computer. (He’s reformatting the other one right now.)  YAY!

Speaking of this computer, innit pretty?

(Click for big, if you enjoy pictures of ELECTRONIC PAAAAAIN.)

My monitor is divorcing itself from my laptop.  Literally as I type this, the screen is waggling about, making last demands and shouting insults at the motherboard, I assume.

Now, I won’t pretend to be surprised.  This computer is a lemon.  I got it a little over four years ago.  (Well, I got the original then, but we’ll get to that.)

It arrived broken.  Well, okay, not broken.  But a pixel was out on the screen.  I had purchased a four-year on-site warranty, so I called them up. 

They explained they don’t replace monitors with fewer than five pixels out.

I explained I don’t purchase broken computers, and requested they tell me how to return my laptop so I could go buy one from someone else.

They asked for my address, and sent out a repair guy the next day.

Thus began the shittiest relationship of my life.  In the first two+ years, my computer had a further FIFTEEN service dispatches. And that just numbers the times they had to send someone to replace something.  Hard drives and power cords and DVD drives they just mailed to me. It’s had (as far as I can remember, but I know I’m leaving things out) 2 LCD screens, 2 DVD drives, 3 hard drives, 3 keyboards, 6 power cords, 5 motherboards, and 2 new plastic casings put on the bottom after repair guys broke them from having to open my computer up so frequently. 

Eventually, Dell conceded that my computer was a practicing cannibal. 

They offered a “complete system replacement” meaning they had to send me a brand new computer.  I accepted since, after nearly three years, they weren’t making my computer anymore, so I believed this new one would be MUCH better.

Ha.  Hahahaha.  Tell that to monitor as it packs its shit and breaks the casing and FALLS off the computer as it’s doing THIS VERY MINUTE.

Dell sucks huge, hairy goat balls, as far as I’m concerned.

Thankfully, my mother ALSO thinks Dell sucks huge, hairy goat balls and went out and bought herself a brand new Mac Powerbook with an external keyboard, mouse, and 24” monitor.  (24” screens are huge, btw.  At least to me.  My brother has one nearly that big and still sees fit to have dual monitors)  Anyway, her new shit now functions as a desktop and a laptop for her, so she ditched her old desktop (gave it to my bro, Harrison) and her old laptop (gave it to me!!!)

It’s a piece of shit, I have to admit.  But it will work.

All I gotta do is get my stuff from this computer onto my external hard drive, then have Harrison wipe this computer, and have him reformat my mom’s old laptop. 

However, since it can take me up to three days to get him to do so much as empty the dishwasher, this may take a while.  Perhaps not SO long if I promise he can wrench open my old laptop and fuck around with it when he’s done.  But…

Still.

Anyway, I was gonna get to impy, molten, and Dante comments but Harrison has JUST walked through the door, fresh from face-punching class.  (Boxing?  Jujitsu? Striking?  One of those.  I just call them all “face-punching class”.”  Mainly because he does too.)

So wish me luck making him help me!  I’ll catch ya’ll later.  *throws gang symbols*