I don’t have any celebrity crushes… I mean, there are men (and a few women) who are pretty and all… But that’s just not what makes me LUST.

However, I’ve found I have two distinct character crushes.

The actors who portray the characters? Meh. I could care less.  They’re probably boring douchebags.

But the characters they portray? AWESOME.

The weird totally expected part? The characters are complete psychopaths.

First up, Dexter. From the aptly titled Showtime show Dexter.  (The title of the post is a quote from the show, btw.)

Dexter is a sociopathic serial killer. And I adore him.

HERE, you can watch the opening credits for Dexter. Watch and obsess. Look how Dexter’s mundane morning routine makes EVERY action look like torture, pain, bondage, killing, and violence. It’s fucking brilliant. Seriously, go watch it ALL THE WAY THROUGH.  (There will be a quiz.)

My obsessions aside, the opening credits actually ARE brilliant from a cinematic point of view – in under two minutes, you will know everything you need to know about Dexter. That’s skill.

Second character is Sylar (aka Gabriel Gray). He’s the “villain” of the tv show Heroes.  And he’s awesome beyond words.

He is tortured and evil, and a serial killer who murders, violently and without remorse. He peeks down the road of redemption, but then (basically) says, “Actually, you know what? I like killing people better,” and heads back to being a breathtaking badass.

…Hrm…

I wonder what that all says about me… As I said, I’ve never been one for celebrity crushes.  I mean, I’d make out with Megan Fox.  She’s so goddamn PRETTY.  But I have managed two pseudo “character crushes” and they are BOTH murderous sociopaths.  Huh.

I suppose we have “celebrity” (or “character” in my case) crushes on people who possess hyperbolic versions of traits we lust after in our real lives.   It’s safe to be attracted to the darkest parts of people who are confined to my TV and their scripts.  Because I sure as shit wouldn’t want those guys in my REAL life. 

I don’t yearn for Antonio to moonlight as a serial killer.  Not so much…  He’s got those traits (same ones the characters have) that  I lust after, and he’s got them in spades – I love tough, rugged badassery. I love a slightly callous nature that is not an act. I love a man with PASSIONS that run deep and true, but are carefully chosen and compartmentalized.  I love a man in control of himself AND his surroundings.  I love a man with deep confidence in himself and who operates in dangerous situations without paralyzing fear.   And that’s him.  Conveniently without the murderous inclinations.

But in that realm of hot, wet darkness where my crushes and fetishes and fantasies grow?  Yeah… The idea of serial killer is fucking HOT.   I guess I just want to feel a little scared sometimes?  A little disposable, maybe?  A little at risk?  I dunno exactly.  I’ll have to ask The Man.  He knows me better than I know myself.

In any case, I just thought I’d share that glimpse into my brain.  No need to thank me. *grins*