Well, I do.

But that’s not actually the point of this post.  The point is I’ve been tutoring a little girl from Israel.  She’s a bright, wonderful 12-year-old who lives in K’far Hayeladim, which is a place where children from Israel whose parents can’t care for them are relocated.  Her “adoptive” family here in the U.S. vacations where I live, and this summer they brought the girl (Katya) to the States for a few weeks.  Katya is receiving tutoring in English through an agency which hires independent contractors (like me!) to tutor.  I spent a year tutoring ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages), so I was the obvious choice. 

Anyhow, today Katya and I were practicing ordering food.  I gave the her a fake menu then staged a conversation.  It started off very auspiciously.  

Me:  Would you like something to drink?

Katya: I like cock!

Me: Um, almost Katya!  Say “I’d like coke, please.”

Katya:  I’d like cock, please.

I seriously thought I might fall out of my chair from trying to repress the wild urge to laugh. Or I’d say something totally in appropriate like “Me too, Katya, ME too…”

You’ll all be terribly proud to know I held it together.

Barely.