Comments on: He Says, She Says…

By: vanimp

vanimp — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:29:46 +0000

Growth is good and I am thinking you have a man who loves you well to the point of knowing what you need the most. He’s one hell of a good man for you my dear x

By: Sara

Sara — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:17:44 +0000

Yanno Chloe, the best and most important thing I get out of all this is: “our relationship is first and the DS stuff is second”. That’s it. The rest, slave/submissive, wife/lover, WHATEVER! What is the reality of the emotional content? He loves you and tries to figure out what is best for him AND you and leads you there.

I’d like to offer a different perspective, if I may? Grant and I have been together for 29yrs+…really how the heck did THAT happen? No clue! I must have blinked!…anyway here’s the thing: Who we were, each of us apart and together, is very different now than it was 5 yrs ago, and then different again from 10 yrs before that, and certainly different than the 5 yrs before we married. To sustain longevity you will need to change and grow, to push and pull each other, support and foster all of it…and somehow someway, embrace the changes. You are not a slave, you are a woman who loves a man. It sounds like he loves you back, and you two will find your way.

By: jenfrog

jenfrog — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:34:50 +0000

Yay Antonio!

By: Chloe

Chloe — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:29:03 +0000

I love it too! The Man has a way with words, and analogies.

And I might have to make a mini-post about this…. Thank you, for making me think!

By: Dinora3228

Dinora3228 — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:19:19 +0000

I love the falcon analogy. Thanks for sharing it with us

By: Chloe

Chloe — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:01:25 +0000

Interesting take… I guess I was thinking the falcon was the partner – companion and trained servant, and the slavery was the tether. He loosed the tether, without changing my role as a trained servant and companion… But, I still don’t know if the “you are no longer a slave” comment was to make it easier for me to understand the changes (because I have the annoying habit of needing labels and crap, so the most effective way for him to communicate with me is likely through them) OR… I dunno… Something else? HRM…

I think… I think it’s all a matter of thinking too much about titles having meaning. They do to ME (as Amber was talking about) but that probably stems from my need to have things ordered and mapped out and defined. (Incidentally, I saw a Dr. today who told me she was sure I had OCD. Fabulous!) To him, the relationship is exactly the same. I do as I’m told, and now I’m told to take some more mental and physical responsibility for myself, to better myself as a person, and a partner. Nothing fundamental about the Master/slave, Owner/property, Man/woman, Dominant/submissive Whatever/whatever changed…. Nothing. Just that I’ve been told to change my behavior.

My obsessive need to make it fit into words and boxes is likely the least helpful (and least accurate) way of thinking about it… I just can’t seem to help myself!

I just have to remind myself that (as you said, perfectly) I AM still his. I am owned. I BELONG to him, and I belong with him. I’ve just got to do some uncomfortable things, and hear some uncomfortable things, to fulfill my role.

It’s still WEIRD though! *grins*

By: doubleknot

doubleknot — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 22:46:44 +0000

“If a falcon is kept tightly tethered to the wrist for too long, it is no longer effective as a falcon but becomes merely an ornament.”

But he said you are no longer a falcon [slave].

Seems to me, you ARE still a slave, just serving him in a different role; that of a thinking, decision-making slave. A slave plus; a slave with a brain.

just my thoughts