SO. The delicious vanillaimpaired awarded me a Sexy Blogger Award.
*squishes up face*
Thank you! You’re a doll, imp. (Now watch me muck this whole thing up and make you regret it…)
…This award comes with some rules. You are to list 5 sexy things about yourself and pass it on to 4 other people.
Well. There’s a problem here. I’m not sexy. Plain and simple – I’m not. And before anyone gets all “dude” about it, don’t worry… I’m not saying that in an emo “Oh, woe is me, I’m so unattractive and the world hates me and I’m such a unique self-hating snowflake of sadness and doom” way.
I’m just… fat, ugly, too-tall, and klutzy. I don’t have a nice smile, my eyes and my lips are lopsided, I don’t have great hair, I’m not flirty-witty, I’m not brave in the face of adversity, I’m not able to feel confident or capable most of the time, and I am graceless all of the time.
Don’t get me wrong – I am in love, I am loved, and I am literally as happy as could be. I just don’t possess a single “sexy” quality recognized by me or the world at large. So if you ask ME what’s sexy about me? The answer is honestly “nothing.”
I’m okay with that.
The sexiest thing about me is the guy I get to call my Master. So, I’ll go ahead and list five sexy things about him, kay? In no particular order…
- His intelligence. I know, I know. Being “attracted to his mind” is horrifically cliché. Trust me, his mind won’t be the whole list, but it’s definitely a big item. His intelligence is the fertile ground from which grows his confidence, level-headedness, courage, conviction, patience, and ingenuity. It makes him capable, always. And as a submissive woman, I find that level of intelligence with its corresponding level of capability incredibly sexy.
- His drive. This is a quality I have always felt is necessary and irreplaceable in a man. He needs to be DRIVEN. There is nothing less attractive than apathy, and there is something so sexy about a man on a mission.
- His skin. He looks and feels like he’s made of warm caramel. His Spanish-Italian blood gave him the most gorgeous mix of olive and cinnamon coloring. (I’m always shocked people don’t just walk up to him and try to lick him.) And he naturally burns a few degrees hotter than a normal person so he’s always warm to the touch. My personal caramel furnace.
- His politeness. I admit it, I love that he’s civilized. I love that he can do the whole spectrum from depraved to classy, and has no trouble blending in or standing out, depending on a situation, and he always feels comfortable. That’s HOT, to me.
- His voice. Specifically, the way it sounds first thing in the morning. It’s indescribable, but I’ll give it a shot: It’s like gravel drizzled with honey… like sandpaper and velvet… like sex dragged over broken glass.
*gurgle*
Damn, now I’m practically drooling.
I HEREBY TAG, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER…
Amber – I dunno if she can top her last post in the “sexy” department (two words for that post – damn son), but I’m hoping she’s up for a challenge!
dk – Obviously, this is longer than a 5-item list. But I’m really curious what five things she would pick about herself.
Kaya – I will cry, loudly and unashamedly, if this is not a pictorial post. Srsly.
Lexi – I’m 100% sure she could just post the link to her “clock legs” youtube video, and all us readers could make (totally non-creepy, omg, NON-creepy) long lists in our heads… 
A note for those I tagged: I broke the rules here, and didn’t post about me. You guys are totally not allowed to do that now, because it’s been DONE. By me. I may not be a unique self-hating snowflake of sadness and doom, but I AM a unique rule-breaking snowflake. So you must post about yourselves. *stern* And don’t hold back if the urge to take pictures should ensnare you. In fact, in those cases, make it like a ten or twenty-point list.
Annnnnnd, go!